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Gene-isms From Life On Mars’ Gene Genie

November 9, 2008

One of the primary reasons for watching Life on Mars has been Philip Glenister as DCI Gene Hunt, a man who would be labeled a dinosaur if he was a cop in 2007. But the show takes place in 1973 and revels in all the talk and behavior that is now politically incorrect (and of course quite offensive). But Gene was lovable in a rough way and the writers always gave him outrageous quotes. Here’s some of them; in no particular order. This is the BBC version which ran for 16 episodes over two seasons, not the ABC American version which premiered in 2008. Most of these are DNSFW!!

  • “No, that’s the drip from my fried egg butty, love. Well done Miss Marple, that’s why we need women detectives…” (Gene explaining to WPC Annie Cartwright why the murder victim has yellow sauce on his ear)
  • “You great… soft… sissy… girlie… nancy… French… bender… Man United supporting POOF!” (Gene insulting DI Sam Tyler)
  • “I think she’s as fake as a tranny’s fanny.”
  • “Drugs, eh? What’s the point. They make you forget, make you talk funny, make you see things that aren’t there. My old grandma got all of that for free when she had a stroke.”
  • “What I call a dream involves Diana Dors and a bottle of chip oil!”
  • “He’s got fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course.”
  • “She’s as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.”
  • I’ll come over your houses and stamp on all your toys!
  • “Now. Yesterday’s shooting. The dealers are all so scared we’re more likely to get Helen Keller to talk. The Paki in a coma’s about as lively as Liberace’s dick when he’s looking at a naked woman, all in all this investigation’s going at the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory.”
  • “There will never be a woman prime minister as long as I have a hole in my arse.”
  • “Oh, well let’s entertain it, let’s take it out for a prawn cooktail, a steak and a bottle of Liebfraumilch, then let’s kick it into the gutter where it belongs!” (Gene on entertaining a notion)


Ashes to Ashes features DCI Gene Hunt (played by Philip Glenister) from Life on Mars. He is joined by an experienced female detective, and trained psychologist from the 21st century, DI Alex Drake (Keeley Hawes), who wakes up in 1981 after being shot in 2008. She concludes that she is either a second away from life, or a second away from death, because of the detailed notes she has studied from Sam Tyler, when he found himself back in time in 1973 after a car accident. Also reappearing are Chris Skelton (Marshall Lancaster) and Ray Carling (Dean Andrews). All have transferred to the Metropolitan Police in London, and Chris and Ray remain loyal to Gene. Augmenting the team is WPC Sharon ‘Shaz’ Granger, (Montserrat Lombard).

  • “Today, my friend, your diary entry will read: took a prozzie hostage and was shot by three armed bastards.”
  • “Careful… this is one bloke you don’t want letting his load off.”
  • “Careful Boys – this Formica was hewn from the hills above Florence.” (In reference to a naff table in Luigi’s).
  • “Always trust the Gene Genie”
  • Just look at us; Tinker, Tailer, Soldier … Tw@t.”
  • “Lets fire up the Quattro.”
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